Thinking Of You
by PiperLeoEternally
Summary: Remus remembers Sirius, while laying next to Severus...sad, slash R/Sirius R/snape sad...


Thinking Of You

A/N: Sooo... I'M BACK! For my first I'm back story a Slash (since you all like them so

much, and keep requesting them!) :D. I don't own anything at all...the song belongs to

Katy Perry and the characters belong to J.K. Rowling Lyrics in Italics

Plot Summary: Remus reminisces about Sirius while he is with Severus (yea, I am gonna roll

like that today!)

_Comparisons are easily done_

_Once you've had a taste of perfection_

Remus is lying in the bed next to a deeply asleep Severus Snape thinking about what he had

to do today. Today was the one year anniversary of the day when that wretched woman stole

away all he loved from this earth. Yes...Part of him loved Severus, true, but not enough

of him. He knew it hurt the relationship, and he knew that Severus knew he still loved

Sirius. That would never change.

_Like an apple hanging from a tree_

_I picked the ripest one_

_I still got the seed_

His thought traveled back to a time when he and Sirius were young and naive and in love.

He smiled slightly to himself thinking about the first time Sirius blurted out in front of

the entire great hall that he was indeed in love with Remus Lupin and he dared anyone to

defy him. A tear rolled down his face as he turned to look at Severus.

_You said move on_

_Where do I go_

_I guess second best_

_Is all I will know_

Remus wiped his eyes and couldn't stop the fall of tears, the man he loved was not the one

laying next to him. What could he do? Everyone was gone, James, Sirius, Lilly, and even

Dumbledore. There was no one to turn to and every time he mentioned Sirius to Severus he just

sneered or they would get into a fight.

_Cause when I'm with him_

_I am thinking of you_

Remus slid out of bed without waking Severus, an old trick he learned from Sirius. He could

get out of bed ten seconds after someone fell asleep and never wake them. He led his way

through the house, brushing his hands against the wood and feeling like at any moment his

chest would explode. It just wasn't the same, it wasn't good with Severus.

_Thinking of you_

_What you would do if_

_You were the one_

_Who was spending the night_

Severus padded up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Good morning Love"

"Good Morning" Remus choked out.

Obviously Severus didn't notice and went to the kitchen, "would you like some coffee?"

"Sure" Remus said.

_Oh I wish that I_

_Was looking into your eyes_

They sat at the kitchen table making uncomfortable small talk until Severus finally exploded,

which Remus knew was coming.

"WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS TODAY?" He screamed

Remus bowed his head and when he looked back up there were tears in his eyes and in the

quietest most deadly voice he asked, "Do you know what day it is, or what today is?"

Severus got quiet and leaned back in his chair, "I knew i couldn't count on you forgetting."

Remus glared and threw his cup at Severus, "NO I DIDN'T FORGET AND I NEVER WILL!" at that

Remus stomped from the room slamming all the doors he could find on the way.

_You're like an Indian summer_

_In the middle of winter_

He had locked Severus out of the bedroom and was preparing to go the the graveyard and was

staring out the window just remembering.

"Moony?"

"Yes padfoot."

"I want you to have this." Sirius handed him a picture. "You know, just in case. Don't

want you to forget me." He smiled

Remus saddened a little but then smiled, "If I have anything to do with it,nothing will ever

happen to you love."

That was the last night they had together, the last picture of Sirius, the Last passionate

Kiss,the last love making session. Who could have known

Remus picked up the old photo, wearing from being touched so much, and folded at the edges.

"Oh Pads."

the tears started falling even heavier as he got ready.

_Like a hard candy_

_With a surprise center_

"Mooooooooooony?!!?"

"What was that, it was soo whiny!"

Sirius smiled, "kiss me!"

"I just did!"

Sirius mocked being offended "Was it so bad you don't want to do it again?"

Remus smiled seductively, "oh no, it was very nice" he got into the bed and crawled toward

Sirius, "You taste like candy."

_How do I get better_

_Once I've had the best_

Remus looked from the photo in his hands to the photo of Severus. There was a knock on the

bedroom door and Remus whispered "alohamora" and heard the lock click.

"Come in Severus."

_You said there's_

_Tons of fish in the water_

_So the waters I will test_

"Remus, I am sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper. Sometimes I just don't know how to handle

all of this, you know."

"O yea, i know."

Severus wrapped him in a hug and kissed him

_He kissed my lips_

_I taste your mouth_

_He pulled me in_

_I was disgusted with myself_

As Severus progressed and pulled him toward the bed Remus allowed in but cringed inside.

they were doing really well until Severus pulled the wrong move, and how could he know? He

wouldn't have, it was something only Sirius did, and only sometimes, in those super passionate

moments, when he couldn't contain himself. Severus bit his neck and Remus jumped.

"I-I am sorry love I didn't me-"

Remus shook his head, "You couldn't have known."

_Cause when I'm with him_

_I am thinking of you_

Severus nodded as his jaw tightened, "Sirius?"

Remus just nodded and got up

Severus fell back to the bed hands clenched in fists against his head.

_Thinking of you_

_What you would do if_

_You were the one_

_Who was spending the night_

Remus headed out, he had decided he was walking to the grave site. He knew there was no

body, but the man he loved was dead and damn them all he was going to have somewhere to go

to remember him, talk to him, be with him.

"Sirius"

"Yes Moony?"

"I love you, you know that right?"

"Of course! I love you too."

"If something happens to you I won't be able to go on."

Sirius pulled him in and bit his neck, "Same here"

_Oh I wish that I_

_Was looking into..._

_You're the best_

_And yes I do regret_

_How I could let myself_

_Let you go_

"I think it's a trap"

"Don't care" Sirius sneered, "Harry's there Moony"

Remus shook his head, "I know, and I know we're going, doesn't mean I can't say I think it's

a trap."

Sirius Kissed him briefly and flooed out, Remus close behind.

Remus snapped back to reality as he turned into the graveyard. He wasn't sure he could

make it before collapsing from the grief.

_Now the lesson's learned_

_I touched it I was burned_

_Oh I think you should know_

He feel to the ground in front of the tombstone crying.

"Sirius, Sirius, I can't do it, I told you this and I just can't! I don't want Severus!

I know you would want me to stay for Harry, but he is married now and he is happy and I

need to be with you. Two words and I am there!"

Remus made this plea each and every time. He usually chickened out right before killing himself

but the grief was that hard to bear somedays...well everyday.

_Cause when I'm with him_

_I am thinking of you_

_Thinking of you_

_What you would do if_

_You were the one_

_Who was spending the night_

_Oh I wish that I_

_Was looking into your eyes_

_Looking into your eyes_

_Looking into your eyes_

He just sat there staring at the tombstone, wishing he could just hear him one more time.

"If I could just talk to you, ask you what you want me to do!"

Just then he thought back to the day he told Sirius he couldn't live without him.

"Moony promise me something."

"Anything." He smiled at Sirius

"Don't do it."

Remus looked confused, "Do what"

"If I am the first to go, it's OK, just don't kill yourself. I couldn't let you do that,

and if there is a way I won't let you do that."

Remus shook his head, "OK"

Remus pounded the ground, "damn you I want to die!"

He wouldn't have made that promise if he had known things would end up this way.

_Oh won't you walk through_

_And bust in the door_

_And take me away_

_Oh no more mistakes_

_Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..._

Remus laid some flowers down and swept off the leaves from the grave.

"We will be together soon. I am always thinking of you love."

Remus walked away. Seeing Severus in the distance in an all black suit waiting patiently

for Remus to return, and Remus was thankful for Severus, and knew this was the way that

he would never be able to kill himself. Severus was always right behind him, always near him.

A/N: Wow OK...didn't turn out how I was going to write it...I know the beginning sounds a

little forced, but the dialogue and memories are the most important. I know its not my best

but it is the first thing i have written in a long long time! love y'all! thanks for reading

all my stories in the past and constructive criticism is always welcomed. I tried harder with spell check and grammar! I promise!


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